THEY TAUGHT THE ROCKS TO THINK DAD
Many of the Bible’s authors seem of the opinion that humanity was created to be co-creators, and that intelligence and knowledge are gifts from God, I suspect teaching rocks to think is something He likes.
To be fair, many of the Bible’s authors are highly unreliable narrators due to being high, drunk, or just actively psychotic at the time of writing 🤷
Not to mention that the gospels were written well after the people they’re named for died
Its a common theme in memes nowadays, but it does make sense. Here you are, driving to a stupid meeting in a cage looking out and seeing a beautiful sunrise. But you can’t stop, because if you do you won’t get whatever they told you you will get.
We didn’t teach em shit, we tricked em with lightning.
THEY ARE DRAWING CLEARLY UNDERAGE GIRLS AND CLAIM THEY ARE 900, DAD! DAD? DAD WHAT IS THIS GREEN WEBSITE!? HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW LAPTOPS?! OH GOD! I MEAN, YOU, I MEAN… MICHAEL! MICHAEL HELP!
Deity theft is no joke Jim! Millions suffer every year
Well in many parts of the world these trees only have fruit for a few months of the year…