What about just banning dihydrogen monoxide? That stuff kills 100% of those who consume it and is, like, everywhere!

What have we become when a man can’t highly rate the Unabomber’s manifesto??

We used to be a society!

They were with me. The whole day. And, they’re the gentlest person in the universe. Have never even seen a gun in real life.

I, for one, would like to congratulate the Leopards for being the number one mentioned animal for 2025.

I’d also like to congratulate all those who voted for the Leopards Eating People’s Faces Party. May you all get exactly what you’ve wanted from the party!

“I never thought the Leopards would eat MY face! Even though they specifically said they would and campaigned on eating all faces, I didn’t really think that they would be so focused on eating faces, especially not mine!”