Disclaimer: this is just a meme.

  • clearedtoland@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    The fact that things like this never occur to me as possibilities goes to show just how naive I am about how the world works

    • ShittyRedditWasBetter@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      It’s all fun and games until you are banned from the local grocery stores .Loss prevention is pretty good these days. It’s the Internet though, they really aren’t stealing. It’s internet tough guy shit.

      • Guy_Fieris_Hair@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        I was at one and moved an unscanned item to close to the bagging area and the screen froze then showed an areal cam of me getting too close to the bagging area.

          • demlet@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            Aw, that’s the best part. I love paying with my ridiculous smart watch that I didn’t need.

                • SternburgExport@feddit.de
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                  1 year ago

                  Oh these are the worst. I had an Apple watch Series 0 I got cheap from a friend. Was pretty neat, but the charging was annoying.

                  Now I have a Casio GBD-200 which gives me a few smartwatch features (notifications, phone finder, vibration) with a battery that lasts 1-2 years and since it’s a G-Shock I don’t have to worry about damaging it.

  • GreenBottles@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    look I’m all for sticking it to the Man and stealing if you’re actually starving but a lot of you people are just Petty thieves

    • Pyr_Pressure@lemmy.ca
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      1 year ago

      The grocery stores are as well when there’s record inflation and people struggling and they are all posting record profits.

  • TWeaK@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    It’s strange how the disproportionality of wealth makes theft seem ok.

  • Ho_Chi_Chungus [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    Clerk: “Um, sir, that doesn’t look like a banana. Are you sure you entered the right code?”

    • The jig is up. Run

    • Apologize profusely

    • [Rhetoric: Heroic 15] Convince the clerk you don’t know what fruits are

    EVEN 58%

    +1 You look terribly frazzled

    This is a Red Check. It can not be retried

    de-dice-6 de-dice-5

    de-rhetoric Rhetoric: [Heroic: Success] “Is this not a banana?” You say in the most genuine tone you can muster

    de-savoir-faire Savior Faire: You may have been caught, but you managed to feign enough innocence to get trouble off your back

    The clerk gives a dumbfounded expression

    Clerk: “Uhm, no sir, that is an avocado, not a banana”

    de-half-light Half-Light: She is too terrified of your empty skull to properly correct you on this

    • JackbyDev@programming.dev
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      1 year ago

      Encyclopedia: It is in fact *not* a banana. A banana is an elongated, edible fruit – botanically a berry – produced by several kinds of large herbaceous flowering plants in the genus Musa. In some countries, bananas used for cooking may be called “plantains”, distinguishing them from dessert bananas. The fruit is variable in size, color, and firmness, but is usually elongated and curved, with soft flesh rich in starch covered with a rind, which may be green, yellow, red, purple, or brown when ripe. The fruits grow upward in clusters near the top of the plant. Almost all modern edible seedless (parthenocarp) bananas come from two wild species – Musa acuminata and Musa balbisiana. The scientific names of most cultivated bananas are Musa acuminata, Musa balbisiana, and Musa × paradisiaca for the hybrid Musa acuminata × M. balbisiana, depending on their genomic constitution. The old scientific name for this hybrid, Musa sapientum, is no longer used.