• hactar42@lemmy.world
    0·
    14 days ago

    The ability to relax. I have a special needs child who constantly screams at us. We have no respite because none of our relatives are willing to deal with him anymore. All of his therapies and medical bills have nearly bankrupt me. My wife is suffering from PTSD because of it. We are on every waiting list for state resources but so far nothing.

    Even as I tried to write this comment, I had to stop what I was doing because my wife went to the bathroom, and my son decided to yell at her because she left a pot on the stove.

    I am completely incapable of relaxing anymore. If I do get a chance I’ll just be racked with intrusive thoughts. Like last night I was watching Stranger Things and when I saw a kid on there with braces, all I could think was, “I need to get my son braces. But since he can’t handle someone touching his face, it is going to be a nightmare. He’s 13 and I still have to monitor his teethbrushing, who knows how much it will suck with braces. It will also be way more expensive because we’ll have to sedate him, for every appointment” Then I spiral down from there. This is just one small example.

    I’m in therapy and on meds for it. And so is my wife. I wish I lived in a state with legal marijuana because it’s the only thing I’ve found that will actually help me relax. At this point we are actually considering selling our house, so we can afford to send him to a boarding school that is designed for kids like him. And maybe then we can get some respite.

    • Passerby6497@lemmy.worldEnglish
      0·
      12 days ago

      In a similar situation, and about to lose my wife for a week or more so she can come back from the edge out son has pushed her to.

      I’m so tired.

      • hactar42@lemmy.world
        1·
        11 days ago

        I feel your pain. Hopefully when she gets back she’ll be better able to help with things. My wife and I have had to do similar things where one of us takes a vacation, just so we can better help afterwards. You got this!

  • Flummoxed@lemmy.world
    0·
    14 days ago

    I lost myself. I married someone who slowly whittled me down to nothing over ten years.

    I am divorcing him. It’s been five months since I just didn’t go home. It’s been really hard, hardest thing I’ve ever done, but I’m coming back to life slowly.

    I can’t wait to see who I become.

    • I'm back on my BS 🤪@lemmy.autism.placeEnglish
      1·
      13 days ago

      Same, but I didn’t marry them. I became nearly completely useless. Lost almost all friends, hobbies, work, goals, dreams, and even desire. I couldn’t recognize myself in the mirror. Coming back has been incredibly difficult since I didn’t trust anyone to guide me nor myself. How do you get somewhere without direction? Lately, I think I’m on the right track, but I will never be my old self and that’s okay. My old self got me in that situation, so the new one will be better.

      Below are three songs that I found validating during these times. Two are in English and one is in Spanish. If you don’t speak Spanish, I would happily translate the lyrics for you; just let me know.

      Ren and Chinchilla

      The Big Push

      Residente

  • BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world
    0·
    13 days ago

    This question hurts so much because I’ve lost so much and I have absolutely no way of fixing any of it. I try so hard and I’m so tired of working so much for a total ingrate and having zero to show for it. Things are really, really bad. I see no way to fix anything.

      • BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world
        0·
        13 days ago

        My SO. I work two jobs to keep us barely afloat due to cost of living and the financial wreck he’s landed us in. He’s basically a sociopath and I have no money to leave, despite me working night and day while he watches TV all night, and he does a zillion petty things in exchange for that, including for the last month giving me the silent treatment beyond administrative stuff, throwing potholders at me, shaking his fist in my face for not setting the temperature in the car the way he wants it and threatening to not pay the credit cards in my name, and basically starving my life. There’s a million other things but I’m so numb to it it’s hard to verbalize.

        • plzExplainNdetail@slrpnk.net
          0·
          12 days ago

          If you’re the one working then why would your SO be able to threaten to not pay bills? Maybe it’s time to change which account your paychecks are going to. Have you considered opening a separate account just for you? Or try taking your name (or theirs) off as many joint accounts as possible. Maybe freezing your credit so nothing else can be opened in your name (assuming you’re in the us)? Are you are legally married to them? If so filing for divorce might be another avenue to talk to a lawyer about. (Most lawyers don’t charge for the initial consultation).

          Are there any domestic violence shelters in your vicinity? It truely sounds like you’re in an abusive relationship and being held hostage in your own home. It’s only a matter of time before the violence gradually increases, because nothing you will ever do will appease them long enough to change their minds on how to treat you. Can you record people in your state/country? The us has some states where only one party needs permission to record so giving yourself permission is fully acceptable to begin recording. There are also some apps that can record audio/video when the phone appears off and uploads the video onto the internet.

          You do not have to answer any of these questions. This internet stranger is just worried for you and truly hopes you find a safe haven. Regardless of anything else, I’m proud of you for working so hard to better yourself and your circumstances!

  • NutinButNet@hilariouschaos.comEnglish
    0·
    14 days ago

    Lost my wallet yesterday. Already canceled and got new replacement cards coming in.

    I didn’t realize how easy it was going to be getting a replacement drivers license. I was fretting having to schedule an appointment.

    • cheese_greater@lemmy.worldOP
      2·
      2 days ago

      Are you dipped in the Apple ecosystem at all? Might be worth it to get ApplePay and AirTags setup so you can keep tabs on the actual physical wallet betterwith AirTags and use ApplePay to minimize the amount of movingcards in and out creating opportunities for loss.

      Wallet cases can be helpful if your phone has one that is designed for it on the market

      • NutinButNet@hilariouschaos.comEnglish
        2·
        1 day ago

        I am and yes that helped a ton!

        All of my banks even my small credit union let me lock the cards and also order new ones in the app and one updated my cards in Apple Pay so I could have a card in the meantime through Apple Pay. Very helpful for the places that accept it.

        • cheese_greater@lemmy.worldOP
          2·
          1 day ago

          Maybe consider getting one of those zippered folio type wallets that you keep at home or in your car (one stable location) to be the master card storage place and get a wallet case for your phone for the most important common cards you need to keep on your person at all times. Get that AirTag and keep it in the folio, then use the wallet case for your phone as you go about everyday which houses your iphone which you can track in itself because its an iPhone or whatever