“Like you would make it for your grandma” usually works for me. But not if it’s the whole order, only if I am trying to get one item really spicy.

Once at an Indian buffet, the owner had okra out & I was so happy, love okra but he kept warning me off it - “no, no, it’s spicy” and I was like “Great!” and he would say “no, no, I mean it’s spicy” he really was worried.

Nope. It was not. Like, some perceptible heat, sure. But nothing anyone would consider too spicy. Like medium taco bell packet of hot sauce spicy. I was so disappointed after all the warnings!