“They reproduce by doing what? Why? How? Wait almost a whole solar cycle? Give birth? Then they can’t take care of themselves? … How did these beings even survive this long to evolve?”

Oh man, you brought up a good YouTube memory:

https://youtu.be/T6JFTmQCFHg?si=OxzXyIeZ6CicPIM7

Made of Meat, a classic.

“They’re made of MEAT?”

Now, that was a different story. “Talking meat? You must be joking!”