When I first read your question, I thought it was a hypothetical situation. Like an improv exercise or something.

Anyway, I was bitten by a racoon once. Everything turned out alright in the end for both me and the racoon.

Guinea pig.

I was watching a school pet named Peanut. I honestly don’t know what I did, but I must have scared him or something because I opened up the cave, went to give him a pet, and he bit the shit out of my hand. His teeth actually put a nice bloody gash because I had to wiggle my hand to get him off with cause his teeth to drag. My hand was gushing blood. Would have never thought a Guinea pig could do that.

I had to beg my mom not to make me get rid of Peanut for my week. I never told the school/teacher what happened because I didn’t want to get in trouble. That was the last time my mom let me watch Peanut.

Not me but my dad (a veterinarian who should know better) was bitten by a cat then ignored the wound until it ballooned up. They nearly had to amputate and he nearly died.

If a cat bites you hard enough to make you bleed GO TO THE DOCTOR ASAP! Their mouths are filthy and the bite will get infected

Just the once, but it was from a human so it was pretty shit

Never. Weird you keep getting bit.

I never went to the emergency room (was traveling where there weren’t doctors of any kind), but I was bitten by a black widow spider and was sick as a dog for days afterwards. Not sure if this counts for the question?

A big darn dragonfly. It took quite a large chunk out of my arm, and it ended up badly infected in no time

A “friendly little pit bull”. I was walking down a sidewalk in an urban area when I passed by it and its owner and it decided I was snack time. The small woman owner couldn’t control it and when I was able to get it off I luckily could run inside a building. Two good Samaritans who saw the attack followed the woman to her home and called the police to tell them where she was.

I initially told the owner cover my hospital bills and rehab and let’s call it a day. Instead she tried to blame me because I looked “intimidating” to her dog (what she told police). Luckily the good Samaritans provided a statement to police stating they just saw me walking down the street like every other person.

I was out thousands in medical bills and lost workdays and she wouldn’t pay so I sued her and she dodged process servers so we got a judge to file a bench warrant for her arrest. That got her to court real quick and instead of paying $5k in medical bills she ended up posting me $110k, some was covered by her policy but she was still out of pocket $35k according to the discussions my lawyer had with her lawyer and insurance company

Nothing else but dogs are allowed to bite me :)

A pure bred Akita named Misha. She was a beautiful and nice dog that some neighbors down the street has. I loved that dog and pet her whenever I went by and she was out.

One day, after walking one of the little neighbor girls to school, I stopped to pet her and she got excited and in the process of licking my face, got a fang caught in the bridge of my nose, ripping it open from top to bottom. She didn’t mean to, but it happened and I had to get a bunch of stitches (and discovered that they can’t numb cartilage), so the poor girl had to spend the rest of her life in a small high-fenced yard. I hated it, but I completely understood the owners wanting to make sure they didn’t have to put her down over a mistake.

Had half my face ripped off my a dog when I was a kid. Doctors put me back together incredibly well and people can’t tell anything happened. I got super lucky. I almost lost my right eye and could have been super disfigured if one of the best pediatric plastic surgeons hadn’t happened to be in town that day.

Worst part was spending the entire summer inside and not being allowed to do many fun things. Got bit right as summer vacation started. I had a prosthetic tearduct until mine grew back and I had to be extra careful because it could come out easily. I also had a gazillion stitches.