• spujb@lemmy.cafeOP
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      10 days ago

      correct, it’s not (or shouldn’t be), but it’s being used as one, especially recently!

      precontext: i said i could see both sides of some non-important debate. something about whether a community mod should be heavy or light with bans, and i was like, “well it depends on what the motivations and needs are.”

      their response to that?

      in this post i hope to call attention to the same destructive processes happening to “neurodiverse” as to all the other terms. particularly i want to call out the ableist motivations behind it.

        • spujb@lemmy.cafeOP
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          11 days ago

          precisely? never said otherwise :) to quote another person right in this thread whom i agree with:

          It’s an insult because of intent, not because of the word itself, though.

          • inv3r5ion@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            11 days ago

            I’m autistic, adhd, and I had a brain injury. Triple neurodivergent. 🙄

            Go ahead and block me, I don’t really care, I think without context you taking offense to calling someone who is gullible “neurodivergent” seems over sensitive. Autistic people in particular unfortunately can be gullible and people abuse that.

            • spujb@lemmy.cafeOP
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              10 days ago

              okay sorry. i had no patience at the time to try to walk you through how the above is an obvious insult. unblocking because i value ND individuals having a voice, thanks for being chill and bearing with me in my stupidity

              • inv3r5ion@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                10 days ago

                Really unkind in which threads? Yeah, I’m an asshole about politics, because I’ve had it up to here with backstabbing liberals who vote blue no matter who and scold the left while losing elections like it’s their job (because it is, they exist as a ratchet to prevent any kind of left wing reform). I’ve spent the last two and a half decades watching this country fall to fascism while there’s zero real opposition to it. As a queer neurodivergent I don’t have any more patience left for liberals.

                • spujb@lemmy.cafeOP
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                  10 days ago

                  ugh i apologize. i can’t find any specific incidents that i remember so i must be incorrect. yesterday i was quite frustrated at people implicitly calling me a liar or overly sensitive to something that was quite obvious to me and i remembered your username and the vibe of your “asshole about politics” behavior (which is totally understandable btw) so i made a snap decision to single you out rather than checking the actual quality of what i remember.

                  you have my formal apology. this place is hella stressful and i do my best to be kind but this was an instance where i failed that, and it impacted you semi-directly.

                  give me a few minutes i’ll remove all my baseless and unkind commentary surrounding you.

        • spujb@lemmy.cafeOP
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          10 days ago

          Bingo. I assumed more people understood this, so I apologize for not communicating clearly. Any word can become an insult—with the right people in control. What’s particularly hurtful is seeing words that marginalized or oppressed groups use to describe their own experiences being co-opted and turned into insults, reinforcing their otherness.

          It happened with “retard,” as with “idiot,” and so many others. Recently, I’ve seen it happen with more niche phrases (look up “is X acoustic” if you’re unfamiliar). Just the other day, I made a comment that I could see two perspectives on a matter. Instead of simply calling me wrong, someone said, “You must be neurodivergent, you’re so gullible.” In that context, “neurodivergent” was clearly being used as a stand-in for the r-slur.

          To be clear, I am not against any language. I’m against the weaponizing of language.

          • inv3r5ion@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            10 days ago

            👍🏻

            What’s interesting about the word retard specifically is it’s still used as a technical term that has nothing to do with developmental disabilities - for example, fire retardant - to slow/stop something.

            • spujb@lemmy.cafeOP
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              10 days ago

              right, i mean thats just kind of a side effect of language existing

              a similar concept appears in the terms “dumbwaiter,” “dumbfounded,” “dumbstruck” wherein “dumb” literally just meant mechanical/nonspeaking, and had none of the other implications of disability-related muteness it has now.

              obviously “dumb” carries a lot less weight these days than the r slur, but the existence of etymologically related terms doesn’t give an “out” to people using them for offense and denigration in either case

              • inv3r5ion@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                9 days ago

                but the existence of etymologically related terms doesn’t give an “out” to people using them for offense and denigration in either case

                Never said it did. I remember the first time I saw retard being used in a technical sense and being thrown by it’s usage in todays world. Ultimately though you can’t police language, people are gonna say whatever dumb shit they want, doesn’t mean you have to listen. And no, anyone using “dumb” or “idiot” today is not referring to disabled people, those words stopped being used to describe disabled people multiple decades ago and are far removed from being associated with disabled people. Retard is a lot more recent, but even as a kid growing up in the 90s where calling people gay, queer and faggots were acceptable, even retard used as a slur back then was frowned upon.

                • spujb@lemmy.cafeOP
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                  9 days ago

                  Never said it did.

                  no worries! i wasn’t saying you said that, just returning to the thesis of my post :)

                  again, as i said two comments above. this is a descriptive post, not perscriptive. my main concern is to make people aware of the pattern, not to tell them what to do about it.

    • VerdantSporeSeasoning@lemmy.ca
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      11 days ago

      I have an older family member who is severely mentally disabled and always has been. His medical records diagnosed him as r*tarded. The adults diagnosing him at the time didn’t understand enough about mental conditions and their differences when he was a child. So kids like him were diagnosed with that. It did have more ‘legitimate’ uses than it does in our current context. Doesn’t make it good or right, doesn’t mean they shouldn’t have tried to be more specific either. That legacy leads to now where we have the nuance and resources to do better. I am glad it’s more and more relagated to the past as it’s consistently been used to dehumanize people.

      • Tar_Alcaran@sh.itjust.works
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        11 days ago

        The euphemism treadmill rather implies we simply load all the meaning and intention on a new word when the old one becomes unacceptable.

        But that clearly isn’t the case with this series of words. Many of these words have clearly different meanings and different social stigmas, and some are in use at the same time.

        • spujb@lemmy.cafeOP
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          11 days ago

          not at all what im discussing but, glad you were able to come to your own conclusion on this

          for my part, no opinion. i just think calling people ableist insults is bad.

    • NoneOfUrBusiness@fedia.io
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      11 days ago

      I mean I’d say the asterisk is overdoing it, and that this is mostly because retard isn’t used as a medical diagnosis anymore. If it does ever really die expect special needs or another such word to take its place.

      • spujb@lemmy.cafeOP
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        11 days ago

        Oftentimes people ask me why I bother using the asterisk at all. And the answer isn’t to pay respect to those who have been othered for their entire lives by this language, or to minimize the chance of a ban from heavyhanded mods. It’s actually to make you upset, specifically.

  • Squorlple@lemmy.world
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    11 days ago

    I’ve been thinking about how we call people “right-handed” and “left-handed” instead of “handedness-typical” and “handedness-divergent”

  • Sivecano@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    11 days ago

    Idk man, a good chunk of these are just sorta not that associated with their origins anymore. A lot of insults are historically demeaning towards certain groups (especially poor people).

  • Julian@lemm.ee
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    11 days ago

    Interesting. Feels like there’s a bit of a paradox, where we need a term to address a group of people who are being “othered,” but while that’s the case, there will be people who use that term as an insult.

    • spujb@lemmy.cafeOP
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      11 days ago

      the better strategy might be to investigate and challenge what forces cause people to use ableist insults

      • Julian@lemm.ee
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        11 days ago

        True. Or just discard their attempts to taint the language. Like how some slurs have been reclaimed.

  • juliebean@lemm.ee
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    11 days ago

    today i learned that ‘cretin’ has ableist origins. just hearing the word, and being completely unaware of its origins, i assumed it had racist origins and was somehow related to the isle of crete.

    apparently ‘cretinism’ is an old-timey word for congenital iodine deficiency syndrome.

    • spujb@lemmy.cafeOP
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      11 days ago

      okay wow TIL too! i was just pulling from memory and a few online examples but i never dove into the specific histories of that particular word!

  • sunbather@beehaw.org
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    11 days ago

    seeing as ableist terms are always rooted in previously uncontroversial medical terms i propose the term “the swag ones”

  • agent_nycto@lemmy.world
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    9 days ago

    Can’t wait till neurodivergent becomes the new slur and we invent a new word to describe it so people use that instead of a slur which then becomes the new slur so we invent another new word to describe it so people use that instead of a slur which then …

    • spujb@lemmy.cafeOP
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      9 days ago

      i hope instead the cycle could be broken in some way. :/ other folks in the thread are pointing out that ND is a term created by its own community, which could add to its resilience. i hope they are right!

  • SaltyIceteaMaker@lemmy.ml
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    10 days ago

    du hast doch lack gesoffen “idiot”, “neurodivergent” & “lame” als abelism zu bezeichnen.

    was so angry/disappointed in that post that i couldn’t get the message across with English.

    • Draconic NEO@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      10 days ago

      Anything is ableist if that’s the intention is to be ableist. “Cognitive impairment” or “Brain damage” are clinical terms, but if one decides they can also be ableist insults.

    • spujb@lemmy.cafeOP
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      10 days ago

      it’s not, unless there is intent. i see draconic left a great reaponse to you so i will give that my seal of approval instead of rewriting.

  • absGeekNZ@lemmy.nz
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    10 days ago

    Just about any term that refers to someone else can be used as an insult!

    So as the old saying goes “offense is taken, not given”. If you want to be insulted, you will be.

    I find, people who insult others are saying more about their own character, than that of the target.

  • latenightnoir@lemmy.world
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    11 days ago

    “You’re not normal! You CAN’T be normal, because then I’ll no longer be THE normal! SHUT UP, THIS IS THE CONDITIONER FOR THE THREAD BY WHICH MY SANITY IS HANGING!”

    • spujb@lemmy.cafeOP
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      11 days ago

      “how can i have an identity without establishing and then demonizing an outgroup!?!”

    • spujb@lemmy.cafeOP
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      11 days ago

      never thought of it that way, but yeah, lowkey! though it’s definitely in a different class of “insult” when compared to the ones in OP. more passive agression, snide rather than forced.

  • mindbleach@sh.itjust.works
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    11 days ago

    Tone policing won’t fix that some people predictably make fucking terrible decisions, for no sensible reason, and we need to deal with that and warn others about it.

    Which is why the real solution is for every forum to fuck off with enforced civility and let people call each other assholes. Some of them will deserve it. Moderation exists primarily to make that call. You’re not just a filter for no-no words. You’re a human being and you’re expected to have an opinion.

  • PugJesus@lemmy.world
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    11 days ago

    Shouldn’t this, then, extend to all implications of stupidity in behavior, not just individual words?

    • spujb@lemmy.cafeOP
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      11 days ago

      Good thought, because yes, this rule applies to a lot of behaviors—insulting someone’s actions or reasoning can sometimes carry ableist implications if we’re not careful. But no, it doesn’t mean all implications of foolishness are inherently ableist. It’s entirely possible to critique someone’s choices, reasoning, or behavior without tying it to assumptions about intelligence or ability. The key is focusing on what they did or said rather than who they are.

      For example: “I see you’ve chosen confidence over accuracy again.” This critiques someone’s approach or behavior—being overly confident while wrong—without targeting their intelligence or abilities.

      • thebestaquaman@lemmy.world
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        10 days ago

        I see you’ve chosen confidence over accuracy again

        This is honestly a great way of calling someone stupid, but you do realise that it can be very offensive to people with narcissistic personality disorder, right?

        Joke aside, what is really stupid about this is the idea of “insulting someone without hurting there feelings”, or as you wrote

        insulting someone’s actions or reasoning can sometimes carry ableist implications if we’re not careful.

        When honestly insulting someone, there is typically an intent to be hurtful, the idea that you should be careful to “not use language that can offend X group” when doing so, kind of overlooks the whole situation of “insulting” going on

        • spujb@lemmy.cafeOP
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          10 days ago

          I wrote that sentence you quoted carefully. I did not use the phrase “hurt feelings” intentionally because it’s not what I meant.

          I meant “carry ableist impressions,” so I wrote “carry ableist impressions.” Hurting feelings is not a sin. Contributing to a system of ableism that precipitates in mistreatment and curtailed rights for disabled people? Is a category of oppressive behavior.

          I will thank you to interrogate my position for what I actually said rather than what you assume I said in the future.

      • PugJesus@lemmy.world
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        11 days ago

        Is it permissible, conversely, to describe things as smart, in a positive sense?

        Furthermore, doesn’t choosing confidence over accuracy itself imply that reduced accuracy is a bad thing, despite it being something that people with reduced intellectual capacity cannot reasonably avoid?

        • spujb@lemmy.cafeOP
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          11 days ago

          I can’t think of examples right now, (edit: but thought of some later) but it’s definitely possible to describe something as “smart” in a way that’s ableist—like if it ties someone’s value only to intelligence or reinforces stereotypes about who’s considered “smart.” However, I’m sure the vast majority of ways to describe something as “smart” wouldn’t really be considered ableist and so are “permissible” in my book.

          • PugJesus@lemmy.world
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            11 days ago

            How so? Isn’t necessarily acknowledging intelligence as a positive quality imply lack of it is a negative one?

            • spujb@lemmy.cafeOP
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              11 days ago

              Ah, we have a difference in terms here.

              Acknowledging intelligence as a positive quality

              is never ableist.

              Acknowledging intelligence as a positive quality

              can be ableist, depending on what values are being cast.

              It’s about how intelligence is framed in relation to others and whether it’s used to dismiss people who might not fit those standards.

              • PugJesus@lemmy.world
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                11 days ago

                Ah, we have a difference in terms here.

                Acknowledging intelligence as a positive quality

                is never ableist.

                Acknowledging intelligence as a positive quality

                can be ableist, depending on what values are being cast.

                I don’t understand what you’re saying here. Acknowledging intelligence as a positive quality is acknowledging intelligence as a quality.

                It’s about how intelligence is framed in relation to others and whether it’s used to dismiss people who might not fit those standards.

                So it’s your opinion that the upholding of standards that cannot be met by some individuals by inherent lack of capacity is unacceptable?

                • spujb@lemmy.cafeOP
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                  11 days ago

                  Acknowledging intelligence as a positive quality is acknowledging intelligence as a quality.

                  Here’s an example where it’s not: “Of course you got in, you [are(n’t) Asian/were in the gifted program/have ASD].”

                  These examples are rare bifecta of ✅ acknowledging intelligence as a positive quality ✅ casting value judgement on those who do or do not fit that quality